How To Set Energetic Boundaries

In today’s post I want to talk about boundaries. When it comes to energy work being able to place boundaries is one of the most important skills.

It’s no use setting a solid intention if our energy is going all over the place; if we have no boundaries.

In order to build our intentions up we need to be able contain our energy on some level, without it leaking everywhere.

Boundaries are simply where your limits are: in relationships and with yourself. A boundary is your personal space, it’s the topics you are comfortable discussing, and the things you are willing to do. 

A boundary acts as a line in the sand, that tells other people how best to interact with and respect you. So often we think that we aren’t even allowed boundaries or that they are unreasonable!

Why you need to set boundaries

You may have grown up in a household where there were no clear boundaries, and so reach adulthood without ever considering you might need them.

People with loose boundaries tend to unconsciously merge their energy with people other, losing their grounding and sense of self.

This can become overwhelming and drain you. Setting boundaries is a way to retain more of your energy, so you are able to give back more too.

At the start of my spiritual journey I identified heavily with the term ’empath’. An empath is someone who feels other peoples’ emotions as if they were their own.

With time I realized that I wasn’t an ’empath’ I was just super sensitive to energy, without the right boundaries in place to protect myself, contain the energy I felt and direct it consciously.

Setting clear & consistent boundaries was a game-changer for me. I’m still a highly sensitive person, and can feel peoples’ energy often intensely, but I create space for my own too.

I don’t as often get into a freeze state, where I’m so overwhelmed with what I’m feeling that I zone out and end up in inaction. I can feel other people’s energy but I also feel my own and take action on my intuition.

Types of boundaries

There is more than one type of boundary which you’ll need to set based on the circumstances. 

Mental boundaries: I also refer to these as energetic boundaries. These relate to what you are willing to spend your time thinking about, worrying over and diving into. These are the boundaries that you primarily set with yourself, to keep things off limits that drain your energy. 

Examples: “I will not spend any longer worrying about this situation.”

“I will not return to this relationship once we have said our goodbyes.” 

Emotional boundaries: These are the boundaries you have around the topics you’d like to discuss with others, and the treatment you are willing to receive. 

Examples: “We can continue talking but that topic is off-limits now” 

“I will no longer continue this discussion if you keep shouting” 

Physical boundaries: As the name would suggest these are any boundaries that involve physical doing something. 

Examples: “Please give me some more space” 

“Thanks for the invitation, but I am not available today” 

Setting a boundary 

Finally let’s talk about how to set a boundary, and why this isn’t nearly as hard as we assume. Setting a boundary can be as simple as saying no and sticking to it.

The real difficulty of course is sticking by that no and what it represents. I don’t know about you, but when I first got into boundary setting (as you might be doing now) I couldn’t remember the last boundary I consciously set!

I didn’t remember when I consciously made a promise to myself, kept it, and then did this consistently. The key is to just get started and pay attention to how it all goes. 

Get a piece of paper or open a page in your journal, start writing up a few boundaries for each of the three categories above. What boundaries do you set with yourself first and foremost, then what emotional and physical boundaries do you want to stick to.

As you practice setting boundaries in day to day life, take note of how it makes you feel and how the other person responds. This introspection will help you shift certain boundaries and create new one.

You might be wondering, what if someone doesn’t listen to my boundary? At this point I advise that you speak with your actions – leave the room, or end the conversation.

Our job is to set a boundary and stick to it, it’s up to the other person whether or not they respect this. Ultimately we cannot control how other people behave. 

One of the ways we can set better boundaries once we get the hang of them, is to better understand our shadow self.

The shadow is the part of our psyche that contains our negative habits & beliefs. It also contains the positive sides of ourselves that we repress or push down out of fear or insecurity.

Understand both our light and dark sides, we can better decide what sort of energy we want in our space. We can create boundaries rather than walls!

What do I mean by this exactly? Let’s say you are afraid to be vulnerable with the people in your life.

This pattern might have understandable roots, but if we want to be more vulnerable and open, we’ll have to confront the shadows that got us there.

In this way, we’ll no default to pushing people away, but will be able to welcome people into our space consciously – our boundaries shift as a result.

Energetic/spiritual boundaries

The last type of boundary I want to touch on I don’t usually hear about. These are energetic or spiritual boundaries.

A problem I have experienced and now hear about from the people I work with, is that sometimes spiritual information is coming through so quickly that it overwhelms a person’s physical body.

Our spirit or soul is infinite, it isn’t overwhelmed in the way we are as physical beings. However, this means that when we experience a spiritual awakening, all of this energy flows through us at once.

We can experience an overload of spiritual information as we are going about our regular lives, at work, before sleep.

This can be a great sign of ‘progress’ and a deeper awareness, however it can also become a distraction.

Sometimes this happens as a result of imbalanced spiritual practices, for example, focusing on the third eye excessively.

We can experience visions, spiritual encounters, disturbing phenomena before sleep that starts to mess up our usual schedules. Sometimes we’re receiving so much psychic information about other people, that we loose touch with ourselves.

We can absolutely set boundaries around this. You can state to the Universe, soul, higher self:

I have received enough messages at this moment

I release other peoples’ energy from my aura

I only want to tune into my own energy right now

A spiritual journey does not require we are constantly overwhelmed and out of touch with our physical bodies.

Both aspects of us, physical and spiritual require care. We might not ever live an ordinary life on the spiritual path either, but we can cultivate regular routine even with our spiritual sense activated.