How To Stop Absorbing Other People’s Energy

.Do you walk into a room full of people and instantly feel heavier? Do strangers randomly come up to you for advice? Do you constantly feel low on energy in social situations?

You might be absorbing other people’s energy.

Of course there are many other reasons why this might be the case. General or social anxiety, another medical issue etc.

However, what I want to talk about today is when we absorb or take on other people’s energy due to a heightened sensitivity and lack of boundaries.

Absorbing other people’s emotions

For highly sensitive people or ’empaths’ this is a very common experience, one that often starts in childhood.

We can feel other people’s emotions almost as if they were our own. We can often feel when someone is experiencing suffering or pain but isn’t being honest about it.

I call this being the ‘energy sponge’. Where you feel it is your duty to take on other people’s stuff, often without them asking. It doesn’t feel comfortable to listen to someone express pain or talk about a problem without trying to fix things for them.

This doesn’t have to be the case!

There is another side to this, which is where we are assuming things for other people!

Yes, even if you are highly sensitive or consider yourself an empath, you cannot actually feel other people’s emotions for them. Nor will you always be accurate in what you pick up on.

While this can be helpful in a lot of situations, having someone to empathize and understand our emotions, it can also be frustrating when someone thinks they know better than us about what we feel.

We are absolutely here as humans to help and support one another, but we are not here to save anyone.

For the empath a lot of this comes from an experience of unsafety in childhood. Where not taking on the emotions of the parental figures in their life would cause chaos.

So many empaths have been unconsciously emotionally regulating their parents for years. This leaks into other relationships, often where this isn’t the case.

How to set boundaries as an empath

The first step to stop taking on other people’s energy…is to stop believing that is your role.

Its is as simple as that, but not always easy!

Setting clear boundaries is one of the ways to do this, but often we struggle with stating our needs or feeling that we’re not worthy of them.

When I first started to work with my sensitivity I didn’t remember the last time I set a clear boundary! This is something we all must learn, despite how uncomfortable or alienating it can be, to tell people where we stand.

Understand your role

One of the biggest fears we might have when we stop taking on other people’s stuff, is that we’ll allow someone to come to harm.

We’re scared that if we don’t absorb what other’s are feeling, we’ll be leaving someone who needs our help out in the cold.

As we’ve discussed, not everything we feel or pick up on is accurate. Even the most skilled intuitive readers get things wrong.

It’s also not true that the best way to help someone is to take on their stuff. Even the best therapists and doctors do not take on everything their clients are feeling.

Instead, creating space is the best way we can help people!

Space for someone to validate their own intuition and feel their own feelings, so that they can learn what that energy is trying to tell them.

Ground your energy

One of the ways you can get more centered in your own energy is through grounding. This sometimes refers to walking barefoot on the ground barefoot in order to feel more balanced.

However here I am referring to grounding into the body, although walking barefoot on earth is great for sensitive people too!

Placing a hand on your heart or directing some energy there when you are feeling overwhelmed with other people’s energies is a great start.

Affirmation & prayer

Another way to get centered in your body is through affirmation and prayer.

Affirmations are any words and phrases we are consistently repeating to ourselves – these can be positive or negative. Affirmations then influence our subconscious mind and then physical reality.

A lot of empaths are constantly affirming the negative, always zoning their awareness on it. There’s nothing wrong with being aware of the negative, however it is this excessive focus that can become unhelpful.

My sensitivity is a gift

I am grounded & centered

I am a powerful creator

You can also call back your energy after a busy day, sometimes I like to do this days in a row if I’m going through a particularly stressful time!

Here is a prayer I like for this purpose:

“I call my energy back from any places I’ve overextended today”

Releasing the ’empath role’

On my own path I identified with the term ’empath’ strongly. It’s not something I want or need to label myself anymore because that role no longer resonates.

The role of an empath is to stay on high alert, emotionally regulate other people and ultimately people-please.

With time, you realize that you can hone your sensitivity in a much more balanced way.

We can powerfully help other people by taking a step back, making sure we are nourished and in the right place, and creating a safe space for someone to express themselves if they feel comfortable.

We cannot force people to feel their emotions, get onto a better path or heal, but we can be a support if they ever choose to.

Always absorbing other people’s energy can also be a point of healing for ourselves. In trying to help others to our own detriment, we can forget that we too have pains, wounds and things to feel.