How unified we are as individual beings has a lot to do with how well we balance our divine (healthy) masculine and feminine energies.
While there are a lot of resources about the divine feminine, the divine masculine is often left out of the frame.
When I talk about masculine and feminine here I’m not referring to outward behaviors, but the specific yin and yang traits that we can ALL embody.
Of course the way we view masculine and feminine in society relates to societal gender roles and the two sexes of male and female.
It’s difficult to really separate sex and gender or gender roles in this context. However I think it is possible for people of all genders to develop a healthy masculine and feminine, regardless of sex – it just tends to look a little different for everyone.
In today’s post I want to talk about my own journey in awakening the divine masculine, and some advice on how you can go about developing yours. This comes from a male perspective but I feel it can be used equally by anyone.
Set small daily goals
The masculine energy is a doing energy whereas the feminine energy is a being energy. Throughout each day and stage in our life we will be called to either do or be, some situations require our receptiveness and others our assertiveness.
Observe yourself the next time you have to be doing mode, whether it’s completing a project or interacting with someone firmly. Notice the inner-resistance that comes up, how does your mind and body respond to this state?
Feeling into this resistance will allow you to pinpoint the blockages in your masculine energy, and where you can strengthen it.
Be firm with your boundaries
I don’t know about you but setting firm boundaries was one of the most difficult skills I had to learn in life (and I still slip up). When I first began setting strong boundaries I felt an unexpected sense of shame.
I’ve found this sense of shame to be a constant when working with the masculine energy, it’s all too easy to feel as if we are somehow doing something wrong when we stick up for or assert ourselves.
Take a look back at the environment you grew up in and see if strong boundaries were taught to you then. Were you allowed to have a reasonable level of privacy and personal space? Were you given appropriate independence? Were you able to say no?
If not, it’s likely that you grew up seeing love as being all-open, all-excusing, and so setting boundaries may feel inappropriate or mean in some way.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes we set boundaries out of fear or wanting to close people out, and so we will feel guilty in that regard. However at its core setting boundaries is something we are all allowed to do, even if it feels alien.
Be precise in your expression
This is an over-arching theme with the masculine – clear expression. Firstly with setting and holding strong boundaries as we discussed above but also with other aspects.
One aspect of the masculine is the ability to speak out when it is necessary, which is a sign of a healthily developed ego. Often when we talk about spirituality this is side-stepped or left out completely.
But just as it’s important to maintain inner peace, it’s also appropriate to know when it’s time to grab your sword and head into battle. I believe that part of practicing embodied spirituality is knowing when it’s time to speak up on the collective shadow, injustices and our truth.
Cultivate inner peace
One of the key aspects of the divine masculine is to be a safe container for the feminine energy. This applies in both romantic relationships where there is a traditional masculine/feminine setup, but also within our own being aswell.
When we work on our feminine energy it is common to feel a sense of fear. As there is less structure and rigidity to listening to our intuition and going with the flow, our ego tends to freak out.
When we have a sense of inner peace, not just on a superficial level but in how we manage our energy, the feminine has a stronger foundation to rest on and flourish.
Forgive your father
Eventhough masculine and feminine energies are not strictly related to the sexes, there will be some overlap in how we view them and consequently interact in the world through them. How we view and relate to our father will have a big subconscious effect on how we embody our masculine energy.
For some people this step isn’t so necessary, but for others it can be a huge turning point. As someone who didn’t have their father around I had to take a look at how I viewed the masculine, the expectations I held for my father as a result, and then consciously bridging that gap.
Growing up with no masculine role model can look many different ways. You might have lacked a masculine model all together, your father might have been present but didn’t embody a strong healthy masculine, or you might have been raised to see the masculine as something to be repressed or ashamed by.
As an adult it’s your job to consciously embody the masculine regardless of how you viewed it as a child, or further solidify the healthy traits you did see.
Be conscious of your sexual energy
When it comes to sexual energy there is a lot of debate about whether we should conserve or release it, and when the best time to do so is.
Here I am simply referring to being conscious of how your sexual energy needs to be expressed, rather than always assuming it is purely physical.
Sometimes what we perceive as sexual energy is actually our creativity or mental energy wanting to be expressed. At these moments it’s helpful to shift that sexual energy up from the sacral chakra up into the solar plexus where it can be utilized for other types of creation.
Finishing exercize: These action steps will help greatly in tuning into and developing your masculine energy, however we can also go one step further with a simple exercize.
Open a page in your journal, in a digital document or whatever you like writing your thoughts on and write the “Masculine” at the top in big letters.
Start by writing all of the traits (positive and negative) that you associate with the masculine, don’t be strict or precise here just jot down everything that comes to mind without censorship. You will likely be surprised at some of the terms you come up with.
Then underneath that write “Masculine figures”. Think of someone in your life who embodies a healthy masculine for you (male or female) and write down all of the traits you associate with them.
This is a great exercize to bring forward with you as you do the actions steps, and see how your views shift and change accordingly.