How to Energetically Detach From Someone

Letting go isn’t easy. Not letting go of things, habits, beliefs…or people. We tend to talk about letting go as this thing we do once and then that’s it. I think it makes sense to be hopeful about the heavy stuff, but I do want to delve a little more into process of letting go today.

Specifically as it relates to people, it’s hard to simply cut someone out of your life and pretend they don’t exist. It’s hard to move on, when the person is still in our peripheral too! How can we ignore someone we might have to come up against many times in the future?

Letting go is really quite an involved process sometimes, but it doesn’t have to be as complicated as we make it.

How to let go of someone energetically

I think the reason it’s so difficult to truly let go of someone – and by this I don’t mean pretend they don’t exist, but learn to live without their energy affecting us a great deal – is because we have high expectations.

Speaking from a spiritual/energetic perspective, all this does is create pressure.

What you resist, persists.

So, set reasonable expectations! What does living without this person actually look like for you. If this person was heavily involved in your life, it might be helpful to write this down or paper rather than just briefly think about it.

What does it look like to realistically cut the cord and live life beyond this relationship?

This doesn’t always mean complete disconnection (if a person isn’t harmful or abusive) and so the more specific you get about that for yourself the better.

When you do come into contact with this person in the future, how do you want these interactions to go? What does remaining empowered and detached look like?

Release the pressure and give yourself as much time as you need.

To truly cut the cord with some people, I have allowed myself months even up to a year, before finally committing. It makes much more sense to me to do it properly the first go around, rather than pretend you’re over something you’re not as inevitably have to deal with it at a later date.

Identify the energetic cord you are dealing with

Energetic cords are the psychic attachments we have to people who we are connected to. Think of them like an energetic umbilical cord. When we are interacting with that person this cord is nurtured, when we think of them it is activated.

All of the emotions and patterns we hold when we’re around that person come to the surface. Understanding what these patterns are is the best way I’ve found to release someone’s energy.

Relationships shape us, it’s inevitable; they create new energetic cycles, amplify the ones that are already there and shift many others.

Often we take on the personalities, characteristics, energies of someone we do not like, or that has hurt us.

I don’t say this to say we end up ‘just as bad’ as the people who hurt us, to flatten everything out. I say this because we cannot leave a toxic environment and not expect to carry with us some toxicity. There should be no self-judgement when you reflect on this.

Sometimes you hang around an angry person and notice yourself carrying more frustration into all relationships.

Sometimes you spend enough time listening to someone with low self-esteem that this becomes your thought process too, to an extent.

So often we proclaim we are going to let go of someone. We step away physically, we may even do a cord cutting meditation, but months later realize we are still holding this person close.

Sometimes we are unconsciously keeping the momentum of an old relationship alive by continuing to be like them in our own ways.

Ask yourself: What energetic cycles did they start in me, and how am I choosing to break and release them?

This work can take several weeks or months, depending on the length and depth of the relationship. If we’re talking about someone you knew for a week and didn’t develop quite the emotional bond with, this reflection isn’t quite necessary.

Once you feel you have released the energy that person left, released those patterns, it would be time to do a specific cord cutting ritual.

Cord cutting ritual

• Find a quite spot where you will be undisturbed
• Light a candle and set the intentions of this ritual clearly
• Ground your energy
• Visualize this person in front of you (their energy or aura not physical appearance specifically)
• Visualize a cord connecting the two of you
• Affirm your reasons for cutting this cord and visualize the act of doing so
• Take some deep breaths and clear the energy field

This process to me is the most complete. In the past when I have simply visualized cutting the cord with someone (who I connected with for a long time) it simply wasn’t effective.

We’re not talking about the physical type of cord, that can be cut with the right size of scissor, we’re talking about something that is a little more abstract (using simple language).

If the connection is incredibly deep you may have to come back to this cord cutting ritual, the intentions you set, a few times before it feels you are truly done.

You know an energetic cord is truly severed when you can think of the person and not feel especially repulsed or attracted towards them. There is just a whole lot of nothing – or some appreciation for them as a human but that’s it.

What happens when you detach from someone energetically

Let’s talk about what happens when you detach from someone or cut a cord with them. One of the main things people want to know is how this affects the other person – do they feel it?

I speak on this as someone who has successfully cut the cord many times, and who has worked with hundreds of people as an intuitive reader.

Yes, most people do feel when your energy has been withdrawn. Everyone is intuitive – eventhough it doesn’t always appear that way – and so we do feel if someone has pulled their energy away even if this is on an unconscious level…and we’ll often act in unconscious ways in response if that is the case.

On more than one occasion, when I have cut the cord with someone they have reached out after months of no communication. Could this be a coincidence? Sure. But it has become very clear to me that this process has an obvious result.

However, I think the takeaway shouldn’t be that you cut the cord to affect the other person – you do this to affirm who you are and what you want. If most of your focus in on making someone feel bad or miss you, then the cord is very much still attached!

Be mindful, be discerning, and do this with the clearest and most benevolent intentions.

I created a free cord cutting guide because this process has been so powerful for me, here is some feedback I received just days after.

This stuff doesn’t seem as powerful as you think until you actually do it!

Most of the main points are covered here, but if you want more detail check out the guide and you’ll also get my throat chakra healing min guide with it.

Should you reconnect with someone after cutting cords?

This leads me onto my next point of discussion – should you reconnect after detaching from someone energetically? My answer may surprise you!

I do think it can be wise to reconnect with someone after cutting the cord with them. Definitely not right away, but perhaps after some months or even years and once the energy has shifted.

But this is highly circumstantial. Sometimes you aren’t cutting the cord with someone because you hate them, they are a bad person or because they are harmed you. Sometimes you cut the cord because you are becoming someone different and you’re honoring that.

People change all the time, I truly believe that, but the only person we can really predict change in is ourselves. If we are firmly rooted in ourselves, keeping our energy clear and moving with good intentions then sometimes reconnection is healthy and possible.

Again, discernment is key!

I have reconnected with someone who I cut a cord with, but they were not a malicious person to begin with.

They made a mistake, didn’t understand that in the moment and I knew I had to move on. When they apologized some months later, and I could see it was genuine, I was willing to consider how our relationship could shift moving forward.