Let Go of the Old “You” & Reality Shifts

“I’m not likable.”

“I’m unmotivated.” 

“I am uninspired.” 

These are all stories I told myself for years, thinking I was just being honest with myself. I thought was looking at the world with a sober clarity; and that things just weren’t supposed to be good for me. 

Switching these stories quite literally changed my life, but it wasn’t easy! It took years of slowly getting used to a new inner dialogue and taking small steps towards new opportunities.

That is what I want to talk about today. How to change the story you tell yourself and allow your reality to change as a result.

It starts with the story you tell yourself

If you’re on this page I’m going to assume you’re familiar with just how stubborn the mind can be. You’ve probably told yourself similar things, and aren’t sure what is true anymore.

Here’s the thing…not all negative stories are false.

Sometimes we have very good reason to be pessimistic about our lives and world around us. We do not live in a dystopia, just turn on the news or talk to a wide enough group of people and that becomes apparent.

Sometimes we are in an environment that doesn’t allow us to open up and be ‘likeable’. We’re in an environment that doesn’t make space for our individual interests, creativity or success.

Sometimes we are looking at our reality with a lot of realism.

However, stories are never completely true – they always conceal something else, other possibilities and perspectives. 

Sometimes we think we are just being honest about our darkness and limitations by saying all of these things, but we’re actually just giving ourselves reasons not to try shining our light. 

If we want to start thinking and being in news ways, we don’t have to have loads of faith or all the tools at our disposal. We start with curiosity. An attempt at trying something new.

We are always manifesting 

I have always had an interesting relationship with the concept of manifestation. The idea that so long as you’re thinking positively, positive things will happen to you – has never sat quite right with me. 

So what do I mean by we are always manifesting, if that is the case? 

I mean that we are always moving forward in one way or another.

Our energy is always changing ever so slightly, depending on the mood we are holding, the environment we find ourselves in and the people we are surrounded by. 

Each moment is an opportunity to see yourself differently. In this moment you are something a little different than the last. 

Some things are definitely out of our control. We’re not always in the best possible environment, or a good one at all. I think manifestation (if it calls to you) should be put in a context that makes sense to you; and that is ultimately helpful, not a heavy burden. 

We can always tell ourselves a better, more uplifting story, that will help us make progress in the space we find ourselves in. 

Understand your inner speech 

I will always talk about about inner speech, because shifting my own is what has allowed me to attract amazing clients; travel for half of the year long-term and be relatively time-free. 

The first step to writing a new story is in your inner speech. I don’t mean blow smoke up your own ass, or never admit your faults, I mean speaking to yourself the way a supportive friend would. 

I prefer to think of thoughts and speech as supportive or unsupportive, as opposed to positive or negative. Putting anything into a category like this does pose problems but overall I think it’s a better approach.

Give yourself encouragement, not just because it will get you somewhere (although it will) but because you deserve to hear yourself say positive things. 

As I mentioned, sometimes those negative stories are holding slithers of truth!

Sometimes we are aware of our anti-social behavior, self-sabotaging patterns and limiting belief. And so, speaking in a new way isn’t about disregarding all of that, but putting it into the right contexts. 

You want to ask your intuition these questions:

“What do I need in this phase of my life?”

“What do I want to express in this phase of my life”

“Taking my current circumstances into account, what energy do I want to embody regardless?”

To ask your intuition these questions you can get into a relaxed or meditative state for at least five minutes (preferably spend over ten minutes getting into the ‘zone’) and then pose your question in your mind or out loud.

Wait to see how your body, mind and spirit respond. What answers come up and feel most resonant?

Getting clear on your why when manifesting is super important. Once you know what you need, want to express and embody, everything else falls into place around that.

Taking inspired action

I guess when I talk about how we speak to ourselves I am really talking about a broader concept. How we think, talk, even act. Everything we do sends a signal to our subconscious mind about who we are, and then to the Universe about what we want.

When you start talking differently to yourself, what you are attracting to and inspired by changes!

A lot of people see affirmations and self-talk as frivolous or woo woo but that couldn’t be further from the truth…if it is done correctly.

What differentiates ineffective affirmations from effective ones is conviction. If you simply state affirmations over and over again with no real intention to change…nothing does. You’ve got to make some sort of commitment.

Think about it this way, if someone kept telling you they loved you but their actions didn’t align (or only aligned sometimes) would you believe them?

I don’t think so!

When you start affirming different, make a clear commitment to doing the work that comes up as a result.

When you start speaking to yourself differently in all the ways, the stuff that isn’t matching up to that is going to stick out even more.

If you affirm that you love yourself, but your actions are destructive or unhelpful, then you’re going to be even more aware of them.

If you affirm that you are a successful creative but continue to push off good opportunities, you’re going to feel like a fraud.

Once you start affirming just hold some awareness of what changes physically, practically, in your relationships, as you do so.

Take small inspired actions in the direction you feel called.

It’s not about burning yourself out or taking action for the sake of it, but taking action when you feel intuitively pulled in a specific direction – when it feels right to the heart.

I hope this post helps clear up how you can start shifting from the ‘old you’ to the ‘new you’.

This post is part of a series of reality shifting:

Part 1: Understanding your ‘core story’

Part 2: Get clear on your “why” when manifesting

Part 3: YOU ARE HERE

Part 4: Collapsing timelines

Part 5: Coming soon

Let work together this Fall!

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