In this post I want to talk about triggers. The disproportionate emotional reactions we have to present situations, based on past pain and experiences.
An example of a trigger would be someone accidently bumping into you as you are walking, and as a result of your mood or recent experiences, you allow this to completely spiral you in the moment and have a knock-on effect on your day.
Repeating stories like ‘I am always overlooked’ or ‘People do not treat me well.’ Using what was a temporary lapse in judgement or simple mistake, as a reason to compound on every negative belief you have.
Working with our triggers is one of the easiest ways to understand our shadow. That is what I am going to discuss in more detail.
Triggers & shadow work
If you don’t already know, the shadow is the part of our psyche we’d prefer to ignore and pretend didn’t exist – it contains all of our insecurities, negative habits and personality traits.
This is a concept explored in much more depth by Carl Jung. He said that if we are not aware of this ‘shadow self’ this ‘dark side’ of our psyche, we will unconsciously project it onto others.
The shadow is not all negative though, much like the dark side of the Moon, it represents a part of us that we simply do not see. This would include positive traits and gifts, that we haven’t properly appreciated in ourselves and put to good use.
This is called the ‘golden shadow’. Think of the creative child who doesn’t have to be encouraged to create, sing, dance etc. If this child’s interests are not taken seriously, often they will be pushed down into the subconscious over time.
Art projects abandoned in favor or more ‘practical’ pursuits, that carefree and fun-loving nature can just as easily turn into apathy or nihilism.
Understanding that when we are triggered we are being given insight into our dark shadow (so that we can confront it) and our golden shadow (so we can appreciate it) allows us to turn triggers into wisdom.
When I discuss triggers here I am talking purely from an energetic perspective. This will not apply to everyone.
Understanding your triggers
For a long time I have struggled with some of the spiritual guidance out there on working with triggers and emotional reactivity in general.
I came from a very volatile home environment…actually multiple volatile home environments through my childhood and teenage years.
I’ve always had an awareness that there was something higher than me, protecting me, guiding me, operating in ways that I couldn’t fully grasp. So I’ve always been interested in exploring the unseen.
However in a lot of ways that awareness wasn’t given the right nourishment, and I turned apathetic towards life. I had experienced so many seeming ‘adults’ acting in ways that were unconscious and downright concerning towards me.
To read some of this spiritual literature was to feel that pain turned against me. On one hand I knew that my triggers were my own responsibility, on the other hand trying to depersonalize such harsh experiences was incredibly difficult.
“Thoughts create reality”
“The external mirrors the internal”
“What triggers you controls you”
These are sentiments that are difficult to grasp when you have experienced a lot of trauma. Things aren’t so simple or black and white.
It’s not easy to work with this emotional baggage or always feel we can approach things in a perfectly neutral manner. But I don’t think that’s necessary anymore.
In many ways we are our own worst enemies, but in others we have simply experienced things that require a LOT of letting go. When working with your triggers, move with a lot of grace!
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My recent observations
I am currently doing another ’round’ of shadow work. In the Autumn & Winter I do feel called inwards to address some things internally, and make sure my inner house is in order.
Some time ago I realized it wasn’t a good idea to practice shadow work year round.
Awareness is an incredible amplifier and at times a double-edged sword. Sometimes we are so focused on the shadow that it seems to expand in size; out of our control. Dedicating some time now and again to shadow work really helps balance things.
I noticed a few months ago just how triggering social media had become for me. It’s one of the reasons I’ve taken more breaks.
People are LOUD – right or wrong – and I think taking in a lot of that energy doesn’t positively impact other areas of our lives. This has always been the case, but I definetly noticed it had gotten a lot worse!
You go online for a bit, read some comments and before you know it…you’re in a spiralling rabbit hole.
I find the rhythmic scrolling we do on these platforms akin to a light hypnosis state…and it doesn’t take a genius to work out you probably don’t want to be taking in what’s on social media in that state.
Reflecting on this, I understood I would still be using social media, albeit more mindfully. It is a part of most of our lives to some extent.
But if I wanted to make the best use of it, I would have to observe these triggers when they came with more awareness.
If someone is on a specific frequency, they often want us to accompany them. Someone who is insecure, angry or afraid will often work (even unconsciously) to get us to feel the same.
Understand just as others can choose to maintain certain frequencies, you can choose to do differently.
Triggers highlight old identities we haven’t truly released.
I notice certain discussions (especially political ones) tend to inflame abandonment wounds – do not hurt me, do not ignore me, do not dismiss me.
This is a wound I can relate to on a deep level. When I notice this coming up I ask myself how I can empathize, and then see that exactly as it is.
How can I embody peace in those moments? Peace that is already available to me.
Know when to stand back from the flame.
You do not have to constantly expose yourself to triggers in order to ‘prove’ something. That you are more detached, aware, above it all. There is time for embracing discomfort, and time for firmly being in your comfort zone! This is not always a bad thing.
There is nothing wrong with being triggered at times. To feel is to be alive, is to be human.
But you can work with this old pain, put it into the right context, and make shifts that bring you out of spaces you simply don’t want to inhabit long-term.
Have you noticed this collective shift?
Hey there, I’m Ashley. I hope that by sharing my experiences with deepening my intuition, I can help you find that ‘spark’. That magic we can all experience when our energy is aligned and we feel deeply supported by the Universe.